Follow your Heart
by merick
Summary: Sookie has always felt a pull towards Sam, but what if she finally gave in to those feelings, and wasn't interrupted. Working off a cannon scene but putting my own romantic twist on it.


Sam and Sookie

"His height was close enough to mine that I didn't have to strain upward to met his mouth. His kiss became more urgent. His lips strayed down my neck, to the vulnerable and sensitive place just at the base, and his teeth nipped very gently.

I gasped. I just couldn't help it. If I'd had the gift of teleportation, I would have had us somewhere more private in an instant. Remotely, I felt there was something kind of tacky at feeling this lustful in a messy office in a bar. But the heat surged as he kissed me again. We'd always had something between us, and the smoldering ember had just burst into flame.

I struggled to hold on to some sense. Was this survivor lust? What about his leg? Did he really need the buttons on his shirt?

"Not good enough for you here," he said, doing a little gasping of his own. He pulled away and reached for his crutches, but then he hauled me back and kissed me again. "Sookie, I'm going to"

Dead as a Doornail, Charlaine Harris

"What? What?" My heart nearly screamed out loud at the pause he left me with. I stared at him knowing I couldn't stop with just that, I couldn't be given a pause to think about the implications of what was going on or I'd talk myself out of something my heart obviously wanted so desperately. I could still taste him on my lips, and his kisses had left my insides wobbling like gelatin. I had been looking at Sam, sometimes dreaming about Sam, sometimes touching Sam in a friendly-like way for the better part of years, almost since I had started working at Merlotte's; I have always held myself back because he is my boss, and I like my job, and I need it. But right then, before my common sense had a chance to kick in, I was so desperate to take that path he was guiding me down.

Sam was a beautiful man, more like an angel than any other man I've been with (of the two I've actually 'dated' – and I say 'dated' for lack of a better word.) He's got this red blond hair that kind of surrounds him like a halo in the right light, and he isn't always clean-shaven which makes him look a little rugged even if he isn't a massive guy. And he does look good without his shirt on; I see him when he gets to helping to unload the delivery trucks on the warm days; he's stronger than you might think owing to his nature. I've seen him without any clothes on too; when he fell asleep on the end of my bed in his collie form, but I didn't stare too much. I was going with Bill then, and it seemed like something I shouldn't do. Sam is a shape shifter, a pure one, which means he can turn into any animal, unlike the Weres that only have one choice; wolf, fox, panther, etcetera. His animal of choice is a border collie that I call Dean. Dean has seen a lot of me too, before I knew the truth of what Sam was. Hindsight being 20/20, I intended to rectify my previous oversight regarding seeing as much as I could of Sam then and there.

"Sookie," Thank God he had continued his train of thought, I hung on each word even as I stood there in the circle of his arms. "I'm going to get this place closed up and then I'm going to go over to my trailer, and I sure hope that you'll come with me." Sam lived in a doublewide mobile home parked out back of Merlotte's. He'd gone to a lot of trouble to make it look very homey. Even put in a little fence around the front stoop, and had some flowers there in the spring.

I nodded, bobbing my head up and down a little bit too much like one of those car bobble heads, trying to contain the stupid smile I knew was in danger of splitting out all over my face. Hormones are a double-edged sword; I've come to learn.

"Good." He smiled too, letting out the same very long breath I had been holding in: a breath laced with anticipation, and a bit of fear and a bit of panic. Only then did we finally pull away from each other, and boy I was really reluctant to do it. But I wasn't about to overanalyze anything, it felt right, I felt good and I floated into the main room of the bar and tidied as fast as I ever had.

Sam sent our substitute bartender home; that was Charles Twining, the pirate, the one I had borrowed from Fangtasia to cover for Sam as he recovered. He was personable enough, perhaps a little too much so, but we had sold a lot more drinks to the ladies since he had arrived. He was staying with Bill just then, and he'd gotten there in a round about way, not that I let myself think about it. (Or Bill for that matter.) I had my mind on only one thing, and by God I was finally going to let it wander in that direction.

Salt shakers filled, ketchup topped up, sugar bowels straightened and coffee and tea ready to brew for the lunchtime crowd, I heard the little dishwasher behind the bar start up again. I hardly noticed the noise during the day because the bar itself was so loud, but just then it was the only sound I heard, and looking up in that direction I saw Sam again, with his warm smile, and my heart fluttered a bit, and a little further south there were some stirrings as well.

"Do you still want to?" He asked me very quietly. I could see his shoulders tense in the anticipation of a rejection.

"Yeah Sam." I whispered back, afraid, I guess, of sounding too enthusiastic. (My brain wanted to just scream out Hell Yeah! but I held it in check). I stepped back to where he was, just coming out to the side of the bar proper, which led to the little back hallway, past the kitchen and his office, and to the rear door. Stopping in front of him I leaned in and kissed him very softly on the cheek without saying anything else. Lingering there, I felt his exhaled breath on my shoulder and I got all goose-pimply. He smelled so good, like the wild, and the woods, and the strength of his otherness. I didn't try to look into his mind, I didn't need to, his body language was more than enough to put the exclamation point on what had happened earlier. I let him go down the hall first, swinging along on his crutches, one leg kicked back, still in his cast. I grabbed my purse and coat from his office as we went past.

He locked the bar door behind us, and crossed the rough staff parking lot to his home, opening the door of his doublewide with more grace than I thought possible when you had a crutch tucked in each armpit. Sam had been shot you see, quite a few people had been shot, all of them shifters. He was lucky; the bullet had broken his leg, not killed him or put him in hospital. He was managing, with the cast and all, but I would be lying if I said that I hadn't considered exactly how we were going to manage things what with his injury. I suppose I needn't have worried for the few seconds I actually allowed myself to do so.

We kind of stared at each other for a few seconds when we were finally alone. Both of us just a little unsure, or maybe afraid to give voice and action to the desires we were feeling. I could feel my chest rising and falling with the deep breaths I was taking, and I could see Sam doing the same. He'd left his crutches at the door; he seemed to have figured a way around his place so that he didn't really need them. That left me looking at his chest now that he was all straightened up, just leaning against the breakfast bar that mostly made up his kitchen, wondering just how fast I could get him out of his plaid shirt. The thought came to me that it seemed simpler just then to pull my own off, and so I did, tossing the white boat-necked Merlotte's tee over the back of his couch as I stepped forward to embrace him properly. I hadn't planned on anything like that happening that day, and I actually hadn't even stopped to consider what bra I had on. For a minute I panicked, retracing my morning routine in my head, just to make sure it was decent, and not a ratty one. Fortunately, though plain, it was still well put together and showed off my ample breasts to great effect, (while still maintaining a clean line under my tee shirt). The little gasp he made as I did my reveal was totally worth the mental effort; and then our mouths were locked together again and I shut off my brain in favor of my heart.

Removing my shirt certainly got the ball rolling, and without leaving my mouth cold, Sam began to tug the tails of his shirt out of his faded blue jeans, yanking the buttons out of their buttonholes frantically. In no time at all we were chest to chest and I could feel the frenzied breathing reverberating through to my spine. His hands wrapped around my back and he had me unhooked and exposed, which only made him breathe quicker.

"Bedroom?" He whispered with a staccato gasp, hands still exploring me. I nodded again, (I seemed to be having trouble getting my voice to work properly) and offered him my shoulder to lean against as we made our way to the back of his home, to the modest, but perfect, little master bedroom. All the while he was close to me I was feeling my own stoked fire growing hotter, this was really, finally going to happen. And having hands my on the muscles of his back sure, feeling the tension building in him didn't hurt that little mental epiphany I was having.

Because of his leg and the discomfort I knew he must have been feeling, I kind of maneuvered him so that he was back against the bed; a queen size that took up most of the small space, that and a little dresser and bedside table. I pushed on his shoulders gently, even as his mouth was trailing its way down my neck, to let him know that he should sit. Fortunately he felt no need to argue with me. Free of his hands; but missing them, I took a deep breath and then undid the buttons on my black pants, pushing them down off my hips. (I had remembered that my undies were good too; not matching the bra, or any sexy little lacy things, but flattering, and white). They were good enough for Sam, because he moaned my name really softly under his breath as his eyes took stock of me. It made me feel amazing; but not nearly as much as the look on his face did as I knelt down before him and he looked me straight in the eyes. It was so soft, and tender and gentle and desperate.

"I've been such an idiot," he began to say, but I cut him off by forcing my mouth onto his roughly. My hands went to his pants even as my tongue fought with his, and I met his fingers trying to push them off as well. It took a minute to wiggle them down past his cast; at least the legs were wide enough to manage it, not that it wasn't fun watching his butt and hips shimmy back and forth with the effort. And of course, there was that other, obvious indication of his excitement bulging against the dark fabric of his shorts. Hoo boy; another deep breath required there.

I helped Sam swing his legs up onto the bed, being very careful with the broken one. Then I just sat beside him for a moment and let my hand rest on his chest. It probably looked to him like I was deep in thought, but truthfully I was clearing my mind of any little fragments that could do my resolve in just then. I was just feeling his body, and enjoying the way he quivered under my touch. But when his hand came up to cover mine I knew he didn't understand me the way I meant him to. Holding his hand tightly I slung a leg over top of his hips and settled myself down over him, feeling the firmness of his desires now pressed against my own. I leaned into him, my breasts touching his chest and I kissed him as deeply as I could. His arms wrapped me around the hips and forced me against him as he arched into me. The floodgates opened and I couldn't have formed another thought beyond how wonderful I felt even if I had wanted to try.

As I sat atop him, grinding my hips into his, he was able to reach his torso up just a little to meet mine, and move his mouth down my neck again and his hands between us to cup my breasts, teasing the nipples till they stood for him and sent electric shocks through my core. The way his tongue and his teeth worked over my skin practically set me on fire and I held his head in my hands, supporting him and twining my fingers into that halo, channeling the lust that was building in me into my actions atop him. I wanted him, like nothing I'd ever wanted before.

"Oh God Sookie." He tried to moan, and I just knew then that I needed him. And so I pulled by body away from his, even as he protested for that moment before he understood my intentions, and I tossed away my white, ordinary, Target panties. His hands pushed his own briefs down and off before I could return to him, and his rod sprang free as if in greeting. Only it wasn't funny, it made me catch my breath.

I knew I was going to be on top, I had to be. I wasn't going to take the chance of him further injuring his leg, or undoing the healing that his two-natured-ness had set in motion. And so I straddled him again, a little lower that time, just over his thighs, carefully hovering lest I put too much pressure on his legs, and I touched him; it seemed the right thing to do. I thought I should feel with my fingers how hard he was, and how smooth his skin was there, and how slick the very top was with the pearl of his arousal; I ran the pad of my thumb around it slowly. He moaned and I could feel his body tense as I did it. Only when I thought that I had taken my fill of that pleasure did I shimmy up his thighs and finally brush him between my legs, teasing my own nub for just a few moments with the head of him.

"Sookie." Came the almost silent entreaty once again, and I lowered myself over him, engulfing him completely within my body, the both of us shuddering in unison. Then I began to thrust against him, carefully at first, still afraid of doing harm, but his actions in response to mine showed me that any discomfort from his leg was as far from his mind as it should have been from mine. He bucked against me, driving himself deeper and I gasped with the feeling of him filling me so perfectly. Over and over I threw myself at him, filled with a sense of bliss to season the feral lust that drove my physical actions. I could feel his tension building against me, and my own from within and I knew that I was going to lose myself to him, in him and so I closed my eyes, clutched at his chest and drove so far onto him that he cried out. And then we were both awash in each other, flesh quivering against flesh, breaths coming in pants, the perspiration glistening on our skin. There was nothing else I could do but collapse onto him, and feel his arms wrap me without another sound but the soft one his lips made as he kissed me over and over. It was everything to just roll down beside him and cradle myself into his warm chest, listening to his breathing slow just as mine was.

Warm chest, warm air, steady heartbeat; Oh My God!

He felt me freeze up in his arms. Hell, the sudden tension that wracked my body into panic could have probably been felt in the next room.

"Sookie?" I could hear the concern in his voice, and without being in his head I could only imagine what he must have thought had gone wrong just then.

"Oh Sam, we didn't use any," I paused and choked for a moment, "I'm not on," I could feel tears beginning to well in my eyes. This had never been a concern for me before, the only two other men I'd been with before had been vampires, and it wasn't possible. I was such a big idiot, swallowing my common sense for lust. My rational mind began to berate my stupidity, and taint the wonderful thing that had just happened.

"Sookie, it's okay." He whispered. And I felt his hands drifting down to my abdomen, coming to rest on my belly. He understood, of course he did, he was Sam.

"Oh Sam," I couldn't think of anything else to say. I had ruined everything. He was going to hate me for putting him in this position. I closed my eyes tight willing myself not to start crying, but it was useless.

"Sookie, if anything was to happen, I know you would make a wonderful Mom." A tear slipped down my cheek. Sam's hand came up to brush it away and make me look at him because I could feel his gaze on me.

"And I would love to make a family with you Sookie." He whispered, eyes looking so seriously at me that I wanted to keep crying.

That set my mind to one vision only, Sam and I, on the porch of my old house, sitting in the old rattan chairs, iced teas between us, looking out at the yard where a little bundle in pigtails was laying out a tea party for her dolls in the bright sunlight, and a boy was chasing a dog around and tearing up the gravel on his bike. Oh God Sookie, I was thinking about it, and I was feeling warm inside about it, and… oh my God. I began to tremble. I reached up my own hand to brush it along Sam's jaw line, the bristles of his scrubby beard scratching me in a way I craved just then. He was so real, and he was looking at me with such tenderness and honesty.

"You'd make a really great Dad Sam." I wanted it; I wanted it all in that moment. I was crazy to even think it and I told myself as much, even as Sam rolled himself over on top of me.

"Sam, you'll hurt your leg." My objection was half-hearted at best.

"I'm fine." He said as he buried his face into my shoulder, breathing deeply of the scent of my hair, and ferreting around to kiss the bare skin he could find there. Balanced on one elbow he slid himself inside me again, and found me wanting. He took his time, I knew that the weight he was putting on his leg was hurting him, but selfishly I needed him again. I needed the truth of that connection he had just offered me. Very slowly he moved back and forth within me, it was so gentle that I simply closed my eyes and let my hands wander over his tight behind, brushing against his skin just as carefully as he was doing to mine. The building of our excitement came so slowly, like a warm breeze, or laying in a sunbeam and letting the light wash over you and warm you with tender fingers. I curved my hands over his buttocks and began to stroke him as he moved, and he sighed and trembled for me at the same time holding himself in place. I let my fingers continue to caress him, as I tightened my body around him over and over. Our peaks came on like delicious shudders across our bodies, and I know a few more tears rolled down my face at the simple beauty of it all. When he rolled to my side again I threw my arm over him, clutching him as close to me as I could without causing harm to his leg, which I knew had to be aching. I felt the soft kisses he rained on the top of my head.

"I love you Sookie." He let it slip between kisses as if it was the most normal thing he had ever said to me. I didn't even think he'd realized he'd said it out loud. Leastways, I wasn't sure until he qualified it. "I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was an idiot. I should have stepped up, I could have saved you so much pain."

He really had no idea, and I wasn't about to enlighten him with everything I had suffered because I had gotten involved with the Vampire aspect of the supernatural world. Those choices had been mine alone; stupid as so many of them had been. I had been just as capable as he of telling him how I felt; if I had just allowed myself to explore those emotions without feeling guilty, or talking myself out of getting involved with my boss. Even before I had known about Sam's otherness I had known he was special. I had just been so thankful for the job that I let that need rule me. Which was such an irony, since I had thrown common sense right out the window when that damned Vampire had walked into the bar. For him I had done things that were beyond reckless. But Sam, safe, loving, down to earth, warm in the sunlight Sam had always been there.

"I was as much to blame as you." I whispered in answer. I had been the real idiot.

He let his hands wander over my body again, languidly, like he was falling asleep, but still assuring himself that I was real.

"Maybe I should go?"

"No." His hands held onto me tightly then and he shook his head. "No, I need to fall asleep here beside you, and I need to wake up to you. Now that you are finally here I don't want to let you go Sookie."

"But what will we say to people?" I knew that the customers wouldn't be coming till lunch time and I'd sure be out by then, but Terry Bellefleur would be in first thing to put up the chairs and mop up. Not that he was the one to gossip about anything, especially cars in other people's driveways. I got the impression that man held more secrets than even I did, and that was saying something because I had a lot of secrets.

"You can tell them the truth?" Sam offered, and earned himself a playful smack. "Or you can just tell them that you were worried about me and you stayed to look after me. People would believe that of you in a heartbeat." He kissed me again.

Yeah, they would, I thought to myself, but would the dumb smile that was sure to be on my face when they saw me give me away anyways? Did it really matter to me? Just then it didn't as I maneuvered around to pull a blanket over the both of us. Maybe I'd have something to regret in the morning, maybe I wouldn't, but I was up for finding out.


End file.
